Showing posts with label Lorenzo Lamas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lorenzo Lamas. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Snake Eater II: The Drug Buster (1989)

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Tagline:

The SnakeEater is about to clean up the street. No matter how dirty he has to get.

Movie Review:

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I reviewed the first Snake Eater back in October last year and found it generally enjoyable with plenty of silly elements to keep me entertained. What I didn't like was the fixation on creepy rednecks. Thankfully the sequel, "The Drug Buster", doesn't have any creepy rednecks and is all the more better for it.

As you might assume by the title, the Soldier (played by Lorenzo Lamas) is back and this time he is busting drug dealers - though it's not as straight forward as it may sound. The movie begins at a cracking pace; a young black man that for some reason goes by the name "Speedboat" (Larry B. Scott) runs a community centre for the local youths and has them breakdancing, doing gymnastics, DJ'ing and other wholesome activities to keep them off the street and away from drugs. Soldier waltzes in, freshly suspended from his job as a cop (most likely for not doing things by the book) and after a few seconds talking to Speedboat two of the girls in a dance troupe falls to the ground. Before one passes out and Soldier does come CPR on the other, she says she "took something to give her the edge". DRUGS! Not only that but drugs cut with POISON!

From that moment on it's vigilante revenge-time for Soldier and Speedboat (that sounds like a kids morning television cartoon doesn't it? Soldier and Speedboat: The Crime Fighters!) who take it upon themselves to clean up this town. Soldier prepares his weapons belt and heads for a known drug sales operation and starts blasting away everybody that stands in his way. It's some top action and we are only ten minutes in to the movie. Just as he finishes laying waste to everybody, Speedboat turns up at the scene ready to kick arse but finds that all arses have been kicked by Soldier. The cops are on their way so he splits, leaving Soldier to face up to his actions.

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After the initial awesome ten minutes of gunfire and bad fashion it starts getting weird again, just like the first movie. Soldier is on trial for killing four drug dealers that night and his incompetent comic-relief lawyer wants him to plead insanity. It's agreed that he will undergo psychiatric testing and is remanded to a nut house full of comical types and a cute female psychiatrist. The movie from this point on, for the most part, is a revenge themed adventure-comedy with plenty of in-nuthouse highjinks and daily escapes onto the street to take out another drug kingpin.

The other patients are what you would expect for cliche nuthouse patrons; we even get a perverted evangelist who gives sermons that turn quickly into the praising of breasts. There's a real strange scene in this incredibly low-security nut house facility: As the 'new guy' Soldier must compete in a game where he and another new guy fight each other while strapped to wheelchairs with one foot sticking out in a metal boot, jousting style. I'm not making this up. A movie about a suspended cop busting drug dealers features wheelchair jousting. My favourite line in the movie is in this scene and I actually burst out with a big "HAH!":

Soldier: "Why is that other guy not strapped to his chair?"
Patient: "Oh he's not a combatant, he's a cripple."

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CHAMPAGNE COMEDY! Another strange scene has Soldier sneaking out of the nuthouse via the air conditioning ducts. As he progresses along the duct he runs into a prostitute going in the other direction, off to see one of the other patients. If that wasn't enough Soldier then encounters a pizza delivery guy in the vent asking for directions ("They should put a traffic light in here.") This movie is too much of a comedy sometimes.

And that's the real downside to the movie - the lengthy wait between each action sequence. Ultimately it's a case of quality over quantity because when they do come they are either truly explosive or plain hilarious. One of the funnier ones would be Soldier and Speedboat, pretending to be health inspectors, sneak laxative into another mob kingpin's pasta in a restaurant. Oh the hilarity as the guy clutching his arse runs to the toilet with the runs! But then Soldier has also planted an explosive in the toilet and blows the fucking bathroom up, kingpin and all. I guess that's when you are meant to stop laughing but I just laughed louder.

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Ultimately Soldier and Speedboat get their revenge on the top drug kingpin and we get a proper old-school machine gun shootout at the end, although Speedboat does get captured and tortured for a bit until Soldier rescues him. The main bad guy, Joey Garcia (Richard Jutras), is a real piece of work - he slaps a prostitute and then presses a button in the wall that reveals a concealed bed - and really does the "don't worry, they can't get into my impenetrable fortress!" act well when attempting to appease other kingpins he is entertaining.

Snake Eater II is stupid fun but it's still not the movie I was expecting, or really wanting, though it is better than its predecessor. Perhaps with the third movie I'll get the ninety minute shoot-em-up that the first five minutes of the previous two Snake Eater movies eludes to... though I doubt it. Oh and be sure to pay attention to the fantastic checker-board wipe transitions between scenes, hah!

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The Video:

Good enough full screen presentation. Looks like they used the same cameras from Degrassi High.. the video just has that colour and feel to it. Runtime 90 minutes.

Sourced From:

eBay for $8.

Trailer:

More Screens:

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Snake Eater (1989)

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Tagline:

Don't shake his rattle!

Back of DVD:

Junior is a big man with a big appetite for violence, a backwoods behemoth who loves murder, arson, rape and torture. All in all, Junior is a real snake. And a SnakeEater is coming to get him. Lorenzo Lamas (Falcon Crest) stars as the SnakeEater, a former member of a crack Marine Search and Destroy unit. Now he's a cop with a personal... and lethal... mission: search out and destroy Junior, the conscious-less killer who murdered his parents and kidnapped his sister. And he's going to take you along every thrill-packed inch of the way!

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Movie Review:

On the surface this looks like the perfect bad action movie. Lorenzo Lamas, an ex-marine-now-cop who doesn't play by the rules avenges the death of his family the way the marines showed him how - violence, and lots of it. Somehow though, the whole doesn't add up to the sum of its parts no matter how much I wanted it to.

Snake Eater starts like the majority of 80's police actioners do, a sting. A couple of comic relief cops are on a stakeout at a warehouse with Lamas (known as "Soldier") inside on his radio singing Kumbayah to amuse himself. He flips poker cards and wears sunglasses indoors; a real badass. His suspect turns up, a beautiful woman who insists Lamas strip as to prove he is not wearing a wire. He complies, only if she does the same, which thankfully she does. Boobs by five minutes, this movie is already gaining traction, and when Lamas again reiterates he is not wired she responds "Honey it looks like you are carrying the whole radio station". Then they get down to business (the sexy kind I mean) but it's all cut short as some cliched drug dealer types burst in and ruin the fun. Threatening to take the money from Lamas and not provide the drugs, he flips a switch in the floor and sends spikes through the guys feet! But with no proof to convict, the other cops call Lamas a nutcase and take his badge.

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See it started great. Then it got weird. A family on a boat somewhere get attacked by a bunch of rednecks who stuff a live fish in Dad's mouth, boil Mum's face in a cooking pot and kidnap the daughter ("This here some prime pussy!"). Then they blow the boat up. I know we are meant to hate these guys, and I do, but they are so like a hillbilly Three Stooges it is hard not to laugh at them. In fact, that happens a lot in this movie. I find myself laughing at shit like stupid rednecks just as I laugh at the bar fights, but it's a different laughter - a creepy one. I'm sorry but rednecks freak me out (I guess that's why I've never wanted to see Deliverance) and I'm not here to be freaked out. I watch bad horror movies for that not bad action.

Speaking of bar fights, there's a doozy here. Lamas riding on his motorbike stacks it into the wall of an outdoor bar. Composing himself and getting a beer, he is assaulted by a rough looking patron who pours a beer over his head. The guy is a tank and after failing to bring him down with two beer bottles, Lamas canes him with a pizza tray. Then for some reason he rips the guys tooth out. Another guy tries some karate shit but Lamas throws a beer bottle at his head and he falls. Funny stuff, but laughing time is over when Lamas is informed that his family (the ones on the boat) are dead and his sister missing.

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Lamas rides to the marina that his family rented the boat from and meets the owner, an old loveable ex-bikie gang chap, who says he doesn't know what happened to his family and why don't you ask those rednecks over there. This of course gets him knocked out by a boat oar but the marina owners' daughter (or grand-daughter, or wife I'm not really sure) shoots into the air and they leave, but not before the old guy bursts out of his shed on his own motorbike, overshoots and flies straight into the ocean. I had to rewatch that part as it was the funniest thing in the whole movie and so utterly random. Anyhow, Lamas sleeps off his injury then takes his now converted motorbike-into-jetski on the hunt for rednecks.

I feel the whole "sons of the soil" plot was ill-advised. Rednecks just aren't very fun bad guys in my opinion and there is too much shit like redneck #3 playing with himself while Lamas' kidnapped sister takes a shower etc. I will say that the lead redneck, Junior, must have played his part well because I truly despised him by the end. Thankfully (and obviously) Lamas wipes them all out and there's a neat shootout at the end with who's left. One gets blown up with a calcium bomb in Lamas' most Rambo scene of the movie.

Although I was disappointed with Snake Eater, you do need to see this. Parts of it are brilliant bad-action, parts ridiculous comedy, but the character of Snake Eater is the perfect bad-action hero; vigilante cop with Rambo skills, a motorbike and even a few one liners. Actually, that's just Cobra isn't it. Snake Eater also sets itself up for two sequels. The second, Snake Eater II: The Drug Buster, I think is more a traditional cop-with-sidekick affair and the third - Snake Eater III: His Law - Lamas takes on a bikie gang. I haven't seen these yet (reviews in the future folks) but I'm going to suggest that Snake Eater is a series that gets better in its sequels. Let's see if I'm right.

Also it so happened that reader Ty reviewed this movie today on his own blog by co-incidence, so make sure you check out his opinion as well!

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The Video:

LionsGate released all three of these movies on R1 DVD. An acceptable enough full screen transfer (as it was shot, I believe), grainy and as any movie of it's type and budget nothing special to look at. Sound is fine. Runtime 97 minutes.

Sourced From:

An eBay seller for a fiver.

Trailer:

More Screens:

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